Desires of the Heart: Non-Essential Qualities of a Godly Man

Hey! 😀

So last week I posted a list of ‘essentials’ to look for in a godly man. I told you that I would eventually post a list of non-essentials.

So… why am I posting non-essential character traits that I want in a young man? I mean, it’s not necessary to tell people them….   To me, these character traits are very important. When I say ‘non-essential’ I don’t mean that as a list such as:

  1. Taller than me
  2. Older than me
  3. Has a well-paying job
  4. Enjoys traveling

Sure, maybe these are nice. But, be honest, those sound kind of selfish don’t they? Yes, you want to find someone with similar interests (perhaps traveling), someone who can support you and a family (well-paying job), and maybe you prefer someone who has certain features (taller, older, etc). But this isn’t a list that you keep in your mind and make sure that if any young man has any interest in you, he matches this list. The above example has features that are certainly not necessary.

The list I have are characteristics that I had to carefully discern between ‘essential’ and ‘non-essential’. They are all important to me, but not fully necessary for the young man to match up with.

  1. To have a goal of missions (overseas or here in the US)
  2. Desires to have a large family
  3. Enjoys reading, specifically books that further your knowledge of Christ and His kingdom.
  4. To be an Orthodox Presbyterian (this is non-essential, but it is essential that he is a Reformed Presbyterian)
  5. Has a calling that he knows he wants to pursue, and feels that the Lord is calling him there
  6. He is eager to try new things, explore new places, and has an open mind
  7. Values working off the land
  8. He is an eager learner
  9. He plans on homeschooling his children
  10. Sees the importance of modesty
  11. Enjoys using his home for hospitality towards others

I don’t have as many on this list as I do on my ‘essential’ list. Some of these were hard to put under ‘non-essential’ instead of ‘essential’. This list is important to me, but not so important that I would refuse a young man on account of them.

There’s no harm in making a list of ‘non-essentials’! And especially no harm in praying about it. The Lord loves to hear our desires and will grant them if it’s in His will and is the best thing for us. Have a blessed evening!


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